On passion

I struggled with this for a long time because I was infested with the idea of finding that so-called passion – the calling – and following it for the rest of my life. If it’s not true love, why bother chasing after? How can anyone settle down on a half-hearted, tepid path? Obviously, I was an extremist, an all-or-nothing type.

Luckily, at some point, I realized art is not my oxygen, because to me, it is more like an outlet for inner thoughts, emotions, imagination, and interests. It’s the same as writing, crafting, producing music, making movies, or building things for others. Everyone has their own medium or pressure valve to release the bubbling energy. It just happens that I enjoy letting myself out through shapes and colors, often through words as well. So no, I will not die if forbidden to make marks, but surely I will miss it a lot, and will suffer immensely if every creative outlet is blocked from me.

So what will I die of, then?

I didn’t know.
It drove me crazy.

So I asked my sweetheart. He said he thinks I would die if I weren’t allowed to learn. Not because I’m academic, but because I’m curious and love being stimulated by new ideas, which help make up my own stories about the universe. He said I would die if I had to live every day without learning something new.

I didn’t buy it. At first.

But it kept me up at night. After giving it some thought, I accepted it. Because all the darkest, most depressing periods of my life were when I got so caught up in surviving that I couldn’t learn anything – when I felt I was only getting old and stagnant. I surely have a lot of fun drawing, but someday it wasn't enough. Learning, however, never fails to light me up. It’s always hard to begin, because my fat-loving, lazy brain doesn’t like to work hard to digest new concepts, but once it does, it leaves me ecstatic. Without fail. Every. Single. Time.

Do you know what the best part of learning something interesting is? It makes me want to share it – aka to brag to the world and feel content with myself. It feeds my mediums – words and images – which in return, feed me as well.

This site is the collection of that.

Feel free to wander around.

I’m a half-ass artist –
the kind who wouldn't die if forbidden to make art.